| Dates and Dating back in the d...
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| Dates and Dating back in the day.. |
| I remember in Zim when I had started to date mananas (girls). I used to have to go through a lot just to get to take a girl out to a movie being that my parents were very strict. During the holidays I would start getting ready to go to town when my parents left for work in the morning. Then I would take two ET's to get to town and meet up with my girl in time for the afternoon movie. After the movie we would go to chicken inn near downtown to avoid meeting our parents who worked close to the kines and the chicken inn near first street. After that we would hug each other at her ET station while all the grown folks gave us that "vana ava" look. I would go home after that and hope that neither of my parents beat me back home. Before I'd leave town I had to remember to buy my two siblings queen cakes just so they'd keep quiet and not tell on me. Those were the days! |
Timothy, Harare |
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| Dates and Dating back in the day.. |
It's every guy's story. The first date, the first time you ever put your arm around a girl.
Your mind would never be on the movie, no matter how exciting James Bond was, your mind would be firmly focused on getting that arm around her. Having chosen a strategic seat in the back rows or obscure corners, the first approach was always the elbow touching the girls arm. Heart rate through the roof you're wondering how you're gonna get that arm around her.
"Cummon, you can do it, go on, she won't bite. But what if she doesn't like it and she stands up and tells you off. Or worst still gives you a smack. You'll never be able to walk in the streets of H again." At that point, you are introduced to your new life, the difficult life of a man.
Ok so after alot of deliberaton you get the courage to do it. You decide to go for the oldest trick in the book; all guys have used this one:
Step 1: Scratch the back of your head with the arm nearest to her and highlight to her the fact that you need a haircut (like she really wants to know).
Step 2: You are feeling a little sleepy so stretch and in the process bring your arm down around her shoulders.
By then your thought processes should read:
"I did it, I'm really holding her. Gosh what am I gonna do now?"
or
"Ok now to kiss her, how's my breath" (If you are more ambitous)
Either way your arm will be shaking like you got the shivers. Pits should be well flowing at this stage. And don't expect any help from the bird either. She just sits there probably as stunned as you, no response.
By now you should be contemplating your next move and just when you are about to take this relationship to a higher level, the movie comes to and end and lights come back on. All of a sudden it feels like everyone is looking at you. So you gladly withdraw your poor arm.
Ok you didn't get to kiss her but you've got a foot in the door. For most the day ends with a walk to the ETs via Creamy Inn, sweaty hand in sweaty hand. At least for me that's how it was. (Sorry hun)
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Allan, First Date, Harare, 1988 |
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| Dates and Dating back in the day.. |
We received the following email from someone who somehow didn't want to identify themselves!
"Do you remember girls when Churchill, P.E, Staints, John's College Peterhouse guys were the hotest thing in the 1990's, and it was so cool if you were going out with any guy from the above mentioned school"
Is this true of dating back in the day? What do you think? |
Zimdays, Grace |
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| Dates and Dating back in the day.. |
Having a really strict dad meant my friends and I (u all know who u are!!) had to execute any dating with the finest military precision .....
My dad (god rest his soul) was the kinda dad who would be parked outside the school gates dead on 4.30pm or would be waiting for me to get off the bus at the top of Pringle Road in Mandara at 5.30pm and woe betide the bus driver if he was running late!!!
You see Saturdays was always the best day for a movie. It would go pretty much like this:
Me: got a tennis (basketball,swimming gala,hockey......get the idea?) match at school this Saturday dad.
Dad: What time will that be finishing?
Me: No idea but Mrs Armitage wants us at school early at about 7.30am
Dad:How will you get home?
Me:Don't worry if its a late finish about 5pm I'll walk to Rezende Street and catch the bus or Mai So-and-So will bring me home
Dad:well ok then, make sure you are home latest 6pm.
Now that's sorted plan number 2.
Its Saturday am. I am in my school uniform. Got my sports bag with my PE kit - check. And right at the bottom of the bag......u got it a change of clothes!
Am not gonna bore you with details of who played wot or won wot (getting older and brain's getting fuzzy) but to be fair to us girls we would actually participate in the above mentioned sporting activities (and on the rare occassions that the nuns would let them in, if any St George's or PE guys were there wot a bonus!!)
Anyways, it was always a mad dash around mid-day to the toilets in the car park above Le Paris Restaurant in Samora Machel???? Getting changed was always a scream....who was wearing wot, meeting who???
Then off to meet our dates.....(sport bag in tow) to go to the Kines or teen scene at Bretts?? or dairy den.......of course you sometimes never got to watch the movie/dance/eat your cone .... to the end coz u had to change back into uniform before making tracks home... hoping that you'd make it to the bus on time (or if your boyfriend had a car telling him to step on the gas and get you home!!!)
PHEW!!!It was no wonder we were always too knackered for church on Sundays!!
AND HOW ABOUT THIS .......
When my hubby and I tied the knot in Harare in 1996, there was only one place I wanted making my wedding cake and that was the proprietors of Le Paris, Mr and Mrs Bloomiers......
LOOS ABOVE LE PARIS RESTAURANT SAMORA MACHEL!
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Zimdays, Received by an anonymous member - email us if you would like to come clean! |
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| Dates and Dating back in the day.. |
| I remember going to the hall to watch movies. We would pay a $1.00 and the guys there used to walk us home after the movies. My brother didn't like it at all - he used to wait by the corner and give both you and the boy a good hiding. |
mirriam, Thorngrove, 1980 |
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| Dates and Dating back in the day.. |
| In those days, guys bought you crystal sweets, gave hand written song books and the notes included the sound of intruments in the song. Lads would give you the James Hardle Chase novels and take you to McDonlad Hall to watch movies. You did not touch hands cause we were told we could get pregnant and you were too shy to look the boy in the face instead you would resort to pulling tree leaves. Boys used to write us letters declaring their love. The common one was 'if you love me I will touch a lion' or 'my heart belongs to you' with a drawing of a heart. It took us more than a month to accept your first date. |
Josephine, Bulawayo, 1970s' |
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| Dates and Dating back in the day.. |
| i remember my first date counting cents at kine. missed first half of movie and seats were gone they gave us chairs one in front of the other defeating the whole point of wearing a front button up skirt. |
mary, mary 11982 |
| This text has not been reviewed by a Zimdays Human editor |
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| Dates and Dating back in the day.. |
It was very much a thing that drew the interest of those who were growing up - reaching the marriage age. These people, depending on the gender, would receive their respective lessons from either grandmothers or aunties or grandpas or uncles. The girls would frequently visit their aunts so that they would discuss at length the tactics of finding love. The boys, likewise, would also frequent their uncle's homes for lessons which they richly deserved. Mind you, I am writing about the Shona society.
Girls would be said to have attained marriageable age at about 18. This is the time that they would have blossomed fully as girls with all the features which would attract the young men who would be expecting to marry the young lady .The girl would get the first lessons that they are important as the future mothers of the society and needed to earn respect from the people. It was also necessary for them to know their relatives so that they would not shame themselves and their families by marrying their relatives.
There were certain attributes about young men that they were supposed to seriously take into consideration, for instance, kindness, hardworking nature and respectability. They were not supposed to reveal it openly that they were interested in a certain person lest they be labeled as unworthy for marriage. The few ways that the girls could show their interests in young men were to go and help the prospective mother-in-law fetch water or weed in their fields or go gather firewood for them. By so doing, the mother-in-law would see this girl and her efforts and then they would find a way of recommending the hardworking girl to their son. The girl could do this to the young man's aunt who would in turn find a way of recommending the girl to their nephew for marriage. Usually this would result in the young man remaining with not much of a choice but choose that girl for marriage.
The girls, just like the boys, would be advised to look closely in their neighbourhood for marriage partners because they were supposed to know the backgrounds of their prospective marriage partners. They were told that it was not advisable to choose someone from far away because they would not find it easy to learn their backgrounds which would usually have a bearing on the future in their lives. This advice was very useful as it always came in handy and most of their words would not fall on deaf as this was based on what they believed in and what they had come across in their lives.
The young men would frequent their uncles' homes for advice and in some cases to be helped to make a choice of marriage partners. They would get lessons ranging from making advances on a girl to how to run their families. They would be advised on the language that they would use to woo a girl and in some cases the uncles would help with the advances in the event the young man was a coward and could not stand on his feet and ask a girl for her hand in marriage. One thing that both parties would be taught was how please or satisfy their partners in bed. I will not dwell on this for fear of offending those who want to uphold our culture.
The young men would be advised to consider certain attributes like hardworking, respect, smartness and good moods. It would sent tongues wagging if the wife would remain moody and the people would be thinking that the lady is a witch. There are so many things that I could make mention of but the main ones are those which I have outlined.
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Emmanuel, Jerera 1980s |
| This text has not been reviewed by a Zimdays Human editor |
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| Dates and Dating back in the day.. |
1/ meeting up for dates in front of Ximex Mall/ First Street /in front of Kine 1& 2
2/ arguing with my Mom about why all the parties I wanted to go to were at night and not during the day as she would have preferred (as if people don't don't get up to no good during the day as well)
3/ school dances - some poor girl's father/mother coming pick her up in the hall and dragging her home in front of everyone. And it always happened to the girls who would change into their forbidden little mini skirts only after they'd left home for the dance) Cringe!!!
4/ joining debate club just so I could attend the meets with P.E and Saints), and girls wearing eyeliner and vaseline on their lips to school on these particular days
5/Slow dancing to a Boyz 2 Men song with my first love at one of the school dances. So romantic... |
London |
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| Dates and Dating back in the day.. |
| I remember dating my fiancée whom I later married. We decided to take a drive to Matopos and have lunch there. Do you remember the size of the granite hills there? Some of them were half a mile long and 200 feet high! We parked, walked around and found a sunny spot to sit and chat. With the warm sunshine on our faces and the confidence that comes with youth we soon were in another romantic world… and then he proposed!! I can’t be certain what was going on in his heart but judging by the smile on his face, he was smitten. Yes, Cupid sure did get him good. On the way home, our lunch of a whole chicken, take-out no less, went flying out the window. |
Kathleen, Bulawayo 1970's |
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